Guardians of the Galaxy Spoiler-Free Review

So what, there was a pre-credits scene, a post-credits scene, but not a mid-credits scene? 0/10, worst Marvel Studios movie to date. I mean, sure, the movie itself was incredible, but the lack of a 30-second teaser namedropping something that I then have to google to understand and be excited about in the middle of the credits just left a bitter taste in my mouth as I walked out of the cinema. Thankfully, remembering the scene of the talking raccoon firing a gun and laughing maniacally while on the back of a giant humanoid tree quickly cured that.
Before I talk about the movie proper, let's go over just how much it had working against it even before production started. Guardians of the Galaxy is about a roster of characters that were completely unknown to a general audience, two of which are the aforementioned gun-trotting raccoon named Rocket and the humanoid tree called Groot.  Even in the comics, this iteration of the team is fairly new. The movie is also set entirely in outer space, spending almost no time on our little blue planet, which is a first for any Marvel Studios movie. The nearest thing to a comparison is the Thor movies, but even in those, Midgard was present and frequently visited. In terms of universe building, Guardians expands on certain plot points and characters from previous movies, but doesn't have an immediate, strong connection to any of them. There's no Nick Fury to tie everything together neatly, just Thanos' giant smug purple mug. So, what we're left with essentially is a high-concept science-fiction movie about a group of utterly bizarre and unknown characters, most of which are aliens and they're fighting other aliens in outer space. Now, to me personally, that sounds awesome, but it lacks any sort of mainstream appeal whatsoever. So how come it made close to 95 million dollars opening weekend?

They were originally "Team Rocket" but apparently that was taken

Well, the marketing focused on fleshing out the movie's colorful group of screwball characters and outlined Guardians as a fell-good action-adventure movie with a strong emphasis on humor, set against some wonderful 70s tunes - which is good, because that's exactly what Guardians is.
So, how does this feel-good, humorous action adventure start off? At the deathbed of a cancer patient. Yikes. Wasting no time on that heartbreak. You know, it wasn't the awesome trailers, ridiculously awesome concept or the 92% on Rotten Tomatoes that made me realize this movie was going to be amazing - it was that opening scene. Why? Well, it's at that point I understood that this was going to be more than just a ludicrously silly sci-fi movie. It was going to be a ludicrously silly sci-fi movie with a heart. It's a movie where the talking raccoon can have a heavy-handed emotional scene less than a minute after another character has used the phrase "pelvic sorcery" non-ironically and it still manages to tug at your heartstrings. It's a movie that know it's characters are silly people, but they are still people. They have feelings and desires, demons to deal with it and tragedies to overcome. That's the glue that tied the whole movie together for me - being able to take it seriously just made the silly moments even more hilarious.
Every character has his own distinct identity and style of humor and they all complement each other perfectly. The movie smartly focuses on their team dymanic, keeping the plot simple and straightforward. The writing is sharp and exceptionally witty, making the characters endlessly quotable and all the more memorable for it. The actors give it their all and deliver with solid performances, embracing the madness of this world with ease. It's also impossible not to mention how breathtakingly beautiful Guardians is. Every frame oozes digital visual splendor. It's a movie soaked in imagination and saturated in vibrant colors.
The only slightly negative thing I can mention is that some moments stretch even my limits in terms of how how corny it got, but they were very few and far between. If you're a person who has a hard time dealing with silliness, I can't imagine you'll like Guardians. It's a movie that celebrates silliness and flaunts overkill with pride. It aims to overwhelm and it ground its character just enough to keep everything from falling apart and for me, it worked beautifully. It's one of the best Marvel Studios movies so far and one of the most entertaining and gorgeous flicks I have ever seen. I (G)root for the Guardians of the Galaxy 100%.

Also, Karen. Just Karen.